Wouldn’t it be nice if every once in a while we could just break down like kids and wail about life? One of my children is four-years-old and in Pre-k; when I picked her up from school today she went from zero to sixty in about two seconds. Zero being the normally sweet gregarious girl we know and love her to be and sixty being a screaming four-year-old in the midst of a full blown tantrum. Over what you may query? Well, being too hot and not able to get her sweater off, of course! As she hooted and hollered, going deeper and deeper into the irrational thinking of one who is totally consumed by a perceived complicated problem, I began to see why it is unacceptable for adults to act in such a fashion. Of course, I already knew that throwing tantrums is something we should all put away in the closets of our childhood, but in reality, I too have been guilty of throwing a tantrum or two.
In real estate, we come across of a lot of hurdles, problems, and difficult scenarios. Whether it’s a defiant tenant of an income property, a prolonged escrow due to bureaucratic problems, or a gun-shy seller, agents and brokers need to exhibit a certain amount of finesse in many situations. That finesse is sometimes hard to come by when you want to pull your hair out and scream into a pillow. Well, scream you may (into a pillow please where it’s muffled), but once that scream is over, the perceived complicated problem is still there, and, so are you. This is your time to step away from it, have some chamomile tea, and calm your nerves. Many of our biggest problems that seem to mentally impair us, are actually not so big and completely solvable. Our perception of them is, but perception doesn’t always equal reality. Children starving in Africa is a big problem, getting a tenant to go with the program, frankly, is not.
The key here is perspective. If we approach problems with a solution oriented mind set, we will indeed find a solution. You may be thinking that’s easier said than done. Not exactly. Sometimes getting away from the problem and giving yourself an outside view is a great way of coming up with a brilliant idea or plan that will work to everyone’s advantage. One way of doing this is talking about it with someone removed from the situation yet savvy about the area, like your broker or another realtor. Friends and family can also have great input because they can often take the position of the client or tenant and provide valuable advice from a consumer viewpoint. Brainstorming your way through quandries is a sure way to arrive at a solution.
It could be you’re not the type to talk openly about your problems and this is when writing about it becomes useful. When you’re in a stable and calm state of mind, lay the problem out in front of you on paper. Write your feelings about the issue as well as the facts of the situation and compare the two, looking for discrepancies and flaws. Perhaps you’re taking something personally or perhaps the answer is right in front of you, it just wasn’t noticeable until you saw it in writing.
Problems are made to be solved. This has to be the mindset of every good and successful realtor. Working in real estate means you are working with a lot of people and many times, their most precious and expensive investment: their home. This means you are expected to be on for them, focused, thinking, and ready to the best job you possibly can. Don’t let that irrational four-year-old brain take over and shut you down. When you feel the tantrum of frustration coming, remember, step away for a moment (as difficult as that sounds) and clear your mind. Remaining in the moment of frustration will not get you anywhere, so change the moment to one of solution and carry on! Before you know it, that beautiful finesse will find it’s way back to your craft and the situation will become resolved.